When media and PR collide

I'm up to my neck with reading about and listening to journalists complain about PR people. Because having been on both sides of the fence, i really think its a perfect case of pot calling the dog's nose black.

Yes, the average PR person is uninformed and underexposed. And yes, they haven't read their client brief completely. But the average media person is no better.

Having had to interact with them on a professional level, i now know a thing or two about their work ethics. Only after working 'with' them (although a lot of them think PR people work 'for' them!) have i realised that journalism as we used to know it is almost dead.

I was shocked at the quality of journalists i found in newspapers and (horror!) some international magazines. Whatever happened to quality and serious writers?

Reporters from top newspapers have insisted that (and i do not exaggerate) the PR person handling that particular client write the entire interview for them. Not just that, they now include generic questions that should form part of their own research in the list of questions directed at the client. So now, apart from wanting to know their turnover for Q3, they also ask how the food service industry is doing and who the other players in the market are?

Hell, they're lazy too! After talking to a CEO of hotel group on the phone for 15 minutes, the journalist had the gall to tell her to 'please email me your replies' so she wouldn't have to look for the scribbles she made in her non-existent notepad.

I have even lent a bony shoulder to the copy editor at one of the top newspapers (it has 'Times' in its name somewhere) who is fed up of reporters sending her a bunch of quotes for a 'story'. That doesn't even include the name of the reporter. So since she is the 'desk', she has to actually write the story and even give them a byline!

I was therefore pretty surprised to find that there were writers who could slip further. Despite a half-hour phone interview with the erstwhile royalty of an Indian state who was at that time in London, a journalist decided he just 'didn't want to write the story' when i called him after four months. No 'there was not enough matter' or 'I need to talk to someone else'. He just didn't give a damn. And we're talking about a senior writer at an international magazine which starts with Forbes and ends with India. 

The level of sheer recklessness of journalists these days astounds me! But it shouldn't; this was bound to happen considering the way media is pampered. 

So when media and PR collide, all you're left with is an equation that refuses to be balanced. 

Bombay-ites live only over the weekend

It's true. They start coming to life after Friday afternoon and by 6:00pm, they are positively kicking.

This continues till Sunday evening and by night-time, they begin to die a slow death.

This Wednesday morning, as i walked into office at approximately 8:30am, I heard a colleague complain, "God, two more days left." I wanted to tell her that technically, it would be three. But I didn't want to depress her more than she already looked so I just smiled a sympathetic smile.  

But Bombay does seem to have a chronic problem - week:work and weekend:living.

Why is this culture festering the city? 

One problem that I can spot is traffic on the roads. I used to think twice before doing anything after work except go home during the week is because of the "peak-hour" rush. For those, who agree with me, I want to inform them that there is nothing like "peak-hour" traffic in Bombay anymore. It's just plain and simple traffic.

Why don't we want to relax after work by going for a walk in the garden close to our house? Because - with due respect to 'Rajesh Khanna Park' in Khar - I can't find any that are worth their salt. Except maybe the Hanging Garden or Jogger's Park. 

This vicious circle of Friday Euphoria and Sunday Dysphoria is giving me vertigo. 

RIP Ramnath Goenkaji

I want to take a moment from this chaotic Friday morning and pay my respect to Ramnath Goenkaji (April 18, 1904 - October 5, 1991).

Anyone who has worked with The Express Group will know that it is not just a media house, it is not an employer, it is not a company you work for; it is an institution - like Janta in Bandra.

No, but seriously, it is like school - you hate it every time you have to attend it but as soon as you pass out, you wish you hadn't. The Indian Express is a place where you get your formative education in media. And even though you dislike it (because hey, hating your employer is your birthright), you miss it once you've left it and realise that it was probably the one place where you've had the best education. 

Anyone who has worked with the group will tell you that they are always happy to meet another ex-Express person. Whether a journalist or a sales manager, they will bond immediately. Because it is the common thread that binds you together. Then it doesn't matter if you got the stories out or the money in.

Every ex-employee of Express I have known and met remembers it fondly. And when they talk of their old company, you see the light return to their eyes.  

That is what The Indian Express does to you. And let's not even talk about a firebrand of a logo that it has. I love it! I think it captures the soul of a journalist.

So thank you, Goenkaji for founding this great media house (although I was very sad to see the iconic Express Towers pass into the hands of ICICI). I am forever grateful to you and I am sure I speak for all the ex-Indian Express employees.

Last stop, India

Has anyone noticed that India is suddenly the object of every international brand's affection? 

Every foreign brand worth its dollar (or euro) has been eying India these days with claims that "India is a very important market for us". Yeah, right! Wouldn't it be if no one from the rest of the world is buying your product?

So far, most of these top 'exclusive' luxury brands had royally snubbed India. And very conveniently, post a second economic slowdown, India has magically appeared in their marketing strategies.

The 64-year-old chairman and CEO of Louis Vuitton Yves Carcelle, who has been heading the bag brand for 20 years now, has been reportedly quoted in a story saying, "We began working on our first store in India 10 years before we launched it in New Delhi in 2003."

So effectively, he's saying that the brand has made a conscious decision to enter India in 1993, which sounds ridiculously untrue. 

Mr Carcelle is not the only CEO to have made such claims. Very quickly (and this is just the tip of the iceberg with the latest FDI in retail and aviation coming into effect), CEOs of top international brands are scouting for a little space in not just tier I but even II and III cities. And the reason for this is not difficult to find.

Car and bike makers, luxury hotels and a host of brands like Armani and Brand USA are rushing in to make hay while this Indian subcontinent sun, with its billion-plus people, is shining. 

Seize the moment. In Melbourne. NOW!

They say that to truly understand a country and its people, it is important to know its history and where they come from. 

I agree. But personally, my interests are more contemporary in nature. I am more fascinated by how the place is now and how its people are today! What are their passions, what do they like to do after work, what are the slangs they use with friends, how do they like their food - I want to experience Melbourne and the melting pot of multicultural ethos that it is NOW! through all my senses. 

I'd like to go where the locals go, eat what they eat, and do what they do. Because to understand a culture and its people, you've got to merge with them and become one nebulous entity of pulsating mass.

This becomes even more exciting in a world city like Melbourne, which was ranked the world's most live-able city in 2011 and again in August 2012 by the Economist Group's Intelligence Unit.

Federation Square, Melbourne (courtesy Visit Melbourne)

In the by-lanes of Melbourne 
A buzzing, cosmopolitan city like Melbourne would present one with unlimited possibilities to indulge in its culture. 

On my wish list are activities that would help me submerge myself in the local culture and give me an opportunity to connect with the people of Melbourne: grab a feed at a popular restaurant, have a jug of beer at a watering hole and shake a leg at its various dance clubs, appreciate indigenous art, experience the live music scene and have a laugh at some seriously funny stand-up shows - the list is endless, really.     

But this isn't all. Australia, and the state of Victoria, is well-known for its nature, wildlife, beaches and outdoor activities. I would love to relax on the sunny beaches across Melbourne from the popular swimming spots at St Kilda to the bathing huts at Brighton. Go for a stroll to the city's parks like the Treasury Gardens, pay my respects to the Scarred Tree, and picnic at Flagstaff Gardens. There's nothing more refreshing than a walk amid thick foliage - something that is completely missing from my home city, Mumbai.

Sight for sore eyes
Something else that are conspicuous by their absence in Mumbai are walking trails and well-defined cycling paths. I'd love to do both while in Melbourne. Melbourne Heritage Walk and a walk along the Yarra River path top my wish list. 

And last but not in the very least - ballooning. No, not of the gluttonous kind but one with hot air in it. A beautiful city like Melbourne should be finally enjoyed from a hot air balloon to get a bird's eye view. It is bound to give visitors a perspective on the city that they have so enjoyed and loved.

A stay in Melbourne, as I see it, can be in slow motion and it can flying, jammed with activities that keep time with the city's heartbeat. It's your time to visit Melbourne NOW!      

6 things men must understand about women

In these times of misunderstandings and inter-sex wars, the only way our progeny has any chance of survival is if someone from one camp shares secrets with the other camp. Look out for these pointers...

* Tell them they’re PMS-ing
One of the longest-standing jokes I have heard is about PMS:

Q: Why is it called PMS?

A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!

To me this sounds funny ONLY when it is told by another woman. Nevertheless, men need to remember their gf/wife’s once-in-a-month date as relgiously and accurately as women do. If they experience unwarranted irritation from their partner, they must first check their date. If it matches, then they should tick it off as ‘one of the bad days’ and not dwell on it. But they should never, NEVER say it aloud. They will only end up sounding obnoxious and might end up spending the next 3 nights on the couch.

* Keep ‘em waiting

Never keep a woman waiting, especially if its on the road. Men in India will never leave a woman alone irrespective of their dress code. Even if you’re more than 5 minutes late, you will meet with someone who only looks like your wife/gf; inside she has transformed into a female Hulk.

* Go shopping with them

There are so many things wrong with men accompanying women for shopping. Unless its grocery shopping, stay out of it. Make some excuse and just send your card with them. We only ask you to come along so that you can carry the bag and pay for some of the items. Otherwise, men just take up floor space inside shops and aren’t much of a help when it comes to choosing a blouse or a bag. Unless you have a good sense of women’s fashion, this is a complete no-no.

* Letting them drive

Letting your woman drive leads to fights more often than not. This is also because women generally are bad drivers. So don’t let the keys out of sight. You will also be doing your brethren a favour by keeping the women off the roads.

* Tell them they’re fat

…if they really are fat. Women want men to be honest to them in every way, especially when they ask you if they’re looking fat.

 * Admire other women

Women hate it when their men admire other women, especially in front of them. If you have to, make sure that its in an objective, academic sort of way.

Umm….Words, you know, are…err…. very important

When I was in class 5, we had a workbook called ‘Words are Important’. Every chapter had a list of English words that we had to find the meaning of and then use it in a sentence.

I loved that book. Its exercises we were made to do taught me a lot. But so did its title.

Words are so important. Yet people use it with disregard and carelessness. They use it wrongly with wrong spellings, they use too much of it, they use the big ones even when their shorter, simpler cousins are as effective.

I have been in the business of communication for 12 years – first as a journalist and now as a PR professional (there, I said it!). As a journalist, whatever you write is considered gold most of the times – which, let’s face it, very often it’s not. You don’t have the obligation to please anyone, except maybe your editor.

As a PR professional, you have to please everyone – your client, your client’s Corporate Communication person, their assistants, your media, your boss. Both professions are two sides of very different coins, because no coin worth its salt will straddle PR and journalism at once. 

No, I don’t disdain my profession. Well, not anymore. Because it is a tough job. But there are a few fools in the industry who give it a bad name, which kind of prompts me not to use ‘PR’ in the same sentence as ‘I am a’.

Y: So, what do you do?
Me: Er… I’m in the communication business. It’s a lot of fun!

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that people whose profession is communication, don’t do it well. When I overhear some of them talking to a client, especially on the phone, I can only hear fillers and false starts. If this is frustrating to an innocent bystander, wouldn’t it frustrate the client who has better things to do than listen to their PR person go, “Err… yeah, we got in touch with the reporter and he’s replied…umm…also we’re written the err….brief note, which does not have the….um…but we would also like you to look at the ….err…. PR strategy…”

Finish the goddam sentence before you go to another idea, you fool! I say this to myself, not aloud of course, because it can lead to HR issues. But you get my drift? Things just get worse on paper.

My point is – if you don’t know how to communicate, why are you in the business? HOW are you in the business, would be a more relevant question! Either way, they should try and understand one word at a time before they try to string them together.

A Living Heritage

…that which never ages, never becomes irrelevant, never dies.

A Living Heritage can neither be bought nor owned; it can only be inherited.

It is for everyone; it has to be shared and cherished.

Living Heritage is in our ceremonies, our customs, and our festivals. It is in our palaces and our forts. It reverberates through their historic walls at night during son et lumiere and brings them alive.    

It is in conservation, preservation, and restoration.

It shows itself in the arts, the paintings and the photographs of yesteryears.

It is revealed in old and faded handwritten historical accounts and the shining crystal collection.

It finds expression in the rebuilt vintage car collection and the broken walls surrounding Eklingji – the ruling deity of Mewar.    

Living Heritage is in the oath made by Shriji and his forefathers 1,400 years ago. It is the soul of this custodianship unbroken since 734 AD.   

This is the Living Heritage of Mewar. And it has to be kept alive by bequeathing its legacy to the youth. 

*I wrote this copy in an effort to define the idea of 'Living Heritage' for Eternal Mewar

Here comes the sun...

But that’s no reason to hide. Not when you have a 'Sun Expert' at hand.  

When Kyra and I started planning our summer holidays, we did not let the sun play spoilsport. The season is synonymous with trekking and since Kyra and me both love to travel, our decision to go on an expedition was unanimous. The only thing left to do was decide the destination.

And there was only one name that rang through our heads in chorus - Ladakh!  This cold high-altitude desert whose name means the 'land of high passes' is a place like no other. And since it is located in high altitude, the sun is closer, leading to sunburns and tans.

But we weren't worried! We were armed with Lakme's Sun Expert Range which we know would protect us from both. Our plan was to trek along the Markha river through ‘Little Tibet’. It is one of the world's highest inhabited plateaus where we would be able to enjoy some spectacular views of the Great Himalayan, Ladakh and Zanskar ranges.

This 10-day trek involves crossing three passes: Stok La, Kagmaru La and Ganda La, all between 4500m to 5200m above the sea level. This would also give us an opportunity to meet nomadic families who live there and watch them herd their yaks and visit small monasteries.

So all we had to pack was a good pair of trekking shoes, our SLRs, and Lakme’s Fairness +UV Lotion SPF 50 PA +++ and we were set. This lotion has cucumber and lemongrass extracts that will keep us protected from the sun’s harsh UV rays in Ladakh.

For days when we don’t need a lotion with very high SPF, we use the Lakme’s Sun ExpertFairness + UV Lotion SPF 24 PA++. And when we need something in between, we choose the Fairness + UV Lotion SPF 30 PA+ that is best suited for oily skin.

Now our friends never see us without Lakme’s bright yellow Sun Expert range. They call Kyra and me ‘The Sunshine Girls’. And to tell you the truth, we really don’t mind it!

(For the Lakme Diva Blogger Contest)

    

Suburbia

Righto. So where was I? Oh yeah, trying to survive the vicissitudes of Mumbai's suburban life.

If there is one thing I can't get my mind around is why there are so many stray dogs in these parts and why, hell why, do they insist on howling in unison through the night.

And what is the matter with these women who absolutely must do their groceries in their night gowns!

Also, did you know that the domestic help in these parts think they can go AWOL and still expect a full month's salary? I'll make them talk to the shriveling  hand that is now scarred because of strong detergent.

And I so miss the lovely Hanging Gardens at Malabar Hill and the beautiful Priyadarshini Park at Nepeansea Road that do not ask for an entry fee.
We have to bribe the vendor for a new pipeline connection for gas and the energy baron that shall not be named wants a Rs 5,500 as deposit.

Unfortunately, there's no BEST in these parts that only requires Rs 500 as deposit. The rest I guess is paid in trust.

It seems like the change required is not just in address. This will need a shift in culture as well. The beginning doesn't feel very promising. But the thought of etching a new life here is consoling.    

So long, SoBo *sniff*

It's been a while since I updated this space. And for good reason too. I have been in mourning.


The loss is of so many things. And it all started with the change of my postal address. The zip code that was once '7' for more than 32 years is now a '52'. My neighbourhood that was once South Bombay has now moved northwards to the suburbs.


Many would view this as a good thing. More restaurants, more places to hang out in the nights, more people, and cheap autos, they say. The 'burbs never sleep, they say, and South Bombay is dead. What's your problem, they ask.


I'd tell them but they'd never understand. The quiet little lane that I lived in had everything but the above. And that's what made it so endearing. No autos! Fewer cars on the roads after 8pm, not many night spots with no late-night brawls breaking out. And you know what else? Footpaths!


But more than anything, the suburbs are like glitzy malls with glossy glass cover. South Bombay has character. And you know what else? It has my childhood.

Tooth hurty!

A classic (read outdated) riddle that I often crack to break any notion people might have of me being an intelligent woman, along with the ice, goes something like this:

What’s the right time to go to a dentist?

Yep, you guessed it. And don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

And so it begins – my visits to the dentist, albeit a new one. The difference is that apart from being more economical and ethical, this one is a man, and even knows how to play the guitar! That in no way means that he performs during our appointments.

So anyway, after a re-filling (?) of a left, top molar and dropping Rs 800, I asked him if I could get my top front two incissors wired. They jut out, you see, in such a way that I look like a grinning rabbit in all my close-up photographs. It's hard to look sexy when the only asset the guy looks at is your bunny teeth.

So here I was, horizontal on a dentist’s chair (again!) with a metal plate oozing of a smelly, green gooey paste being pushed against my palate. This was to take the impression of my upper set of dentals, I was told. He might as well have strangled me before robbing me!

Having calmed my gag reflexes by following the instructions from my dentist (heyyy…!) and counting till 20, I was plate-free once again. I was also Rs 2,200 lighter the following week when I went to pick up my wired retainer.

Now, I look like a dork when I smile. But at least I have a new one-liner:

Why are they called dentists?

Because they make a dent in your wallet!

Geddit?! I don’t care what you say, I think its funny!

Review: 36 Oak and Barley

SoBo’s beloved Pan-Asian diner ‘East’ now re-opens as 36 Oak and Barley and will serve comfort food for the hungry soul.  



If you’re thinking that this 68-seater all-day diner is a whiskey bar, you couldn’t be more wrong. 36 Oak and Barley serves something much more comforting – comfort food from across cuisines.


Main man Chef Nachiket Shetye continues to spin his magic but he now does so with his friends-turned-partners, Nipoon Aggarwal and Avinash Gupta. The trio obviously shares their passion for food, but what they also mutually believe is to serve fresh, quality food, farm-to-fork style. This is apparent in every dish that comes out of the 36 Oak and Barley kitchen, as it used to be when it was ‘East’.


The décor
Located near August Kranti Maidan, 36 Oak and Barley has chic red walls, a wooden and brass flooring and a stylish black jaguar leaping from the ceiling from above the bar. It is very spacious so you don’t have to share your meal with strangers.


The bar seems to take centre-stage and occupies a huge area in the middle. New additions also include a huge 6×8 projector screen for big matches and a smoking alley for the nicotine addict.


The food
You could shut your eyes and pick any dish from the menu and you’d love it! They have soups, salads, appetizers, charcoal grills, sandwiches, sliders (small burgers), pizzas, pastas, risottos, mains, and of course, desserts.


Soup: We ordered a tomato and basil soup and a curried chicken broth. The tomato soup was a huge serving and could even double up as an entire meal if you are a small eater and aren’t too hungry. It was a tad sweeter than expected and the lemon sorbet (which is a surprise element if you order the 36 O and B special!) made it even more so.


The chicken broth was decent but could do with some more flavour and fewer vegetable pieces. But in both cases, the freshness of the ingredients was evident.


Salad: For salad, we went all out and tried the warm zucchini salad as well as the arugula salad. The warm salad of grilled zucchini, tomato and basil with katsiki cheese was nice but we’d recommend the other one with roasted beet, orange arugula, goat cheese salad with orange dressing, despite the beet! The pungency of arugula went perfectly with the earthy taste of the beet and the freshness of the orange. The only complain we had for both salads was the dearth of cheese!


We also asked for the salami salad that came with assorted lettuce, bell peppers, onion and tomato with red wine vinaigrette. The fresh salami and the veggies ensured that it had enough crunch and juiciness. It was just right with the perfect amount of flavour.


Appetisers: Even if you don’t eat anything here, you absolutely must try the 36 O and B cheese fondue. The cheese is clean without any white cream and the bread is crispy. What we absolutely loved about it was the three bowls of freshly chopped green chillies, tomatoes and onions that came with it. A dip in the cheese followed by three dips in each bowl ensured that you got a taste of heaven!


Main course: In vegetarian, we ordered the good ‘ol macaroni and cheese and ratatouille with basil couscous. One can hardly go wrong with mac ‘n cheese but here it was exceptionally good – the cheese was light and the macaroni cooked just right. The ratatouille was a tad bland for our taste but as far as non-fattening comfort food goes, it was a hit. The over-riding element in all these dishes was freshness.


Hardcore meat-eaters must absolutely try the tenderloin steak with peppercorn sauce. The medallion steak was very well done with just the right consistency in the texture of the meat giving one the impression that the steak was definitely imported. But we were told it was sourced from Kerala. The sauce was perfectly spiced and paired very well with the mashed potatoes. The pork vindaloo on the other hand didn’t have the right consistency of a vindaloo and tasted more like pork chilli fry, but a very good pork chilly fry cooked in a masala except for a slightly over-powering taste of vinegar.


Dessert: Desserts are an important element of comfort food and the only thing we could see on the menu was the 36 O and B Choco Bomb. It was a shot of pure, warm chocolate (not milk chocolate) with high cocoa content! And it was delicious. We asked for a vanilla and berry panna cotta to balance it out. The berry sauce made in-house was just perfect and went perfectly with the panna cotta, which itself was light and fluffy. We loved the flurry of basil seeds on the smooth whiteness of the panna cotta.


They also have more exotic entries like the chocolate and chilli vodka mousse and the prune and brandied chocolate mousse but you can also order the good old-fashioned jelly custard here. But whatever you order, you cannot miss the 36 O and B Johnny Black! But make sure you’re not driving because this baby has 30ml of whiskey soaked in it! It is sinful and perfect for teetotalers who are into desserts.


The drinks
Apart from the bar specials, you will find exotic cocktails like Anarkali Martini and mocktails like Spicy Guava. The 24-hour liquor license helps! For those who teetotal, there’s a range of coffees and juices.


Timing: Open from 12pm through 1am. But doesn't serve main course between 4pm and 7pm. Kids not allowed post 7pm.


Average meal for 2: Rs 1,500 + taxes (without alcohol)