Book review: 'What Men Think About Sex' by Mark Mason

This was a pretty bold title to review as part of my creative writing elective at Xavier's Institute of Communications way back in 2004. But i still managed to get a grade - and a decent one at that! 

Published in June of 2002, this wasn't a book that stood out from the crowd for its literary merits. In fact, i hadn't even heard of it until i saw it at a bookstore in Singapore. 

A momentary glance at the book’s title might suggest that it is on the lines of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ sort of non-fiction, written by an American who believes that a better approach to bridging the gap between the sexes is to do away with all subtlety.

But a detailed read through its 340-odd pages reveals that Mark Mason is actually a Londoner who has decided to shed the age-old ‘stiff-upper-lip’ tag. Nevertheless, the supposition about his nationality and the fact that the book is actually fictional are the only two presumptions that prove to be wrong. Mason, in this first person narrative, explains to its readers via anecdotes how preoccupied men are with sex and to what lengths they would go to, to get a piece of the action.

This is not to say that women don't. Think about sex, that is. 

‘What Men Think About Sex’ is set in London. It revolves around two colleagues - Tim and Rob - who work in an IT firm and their race to bed Clare Jordon from the company’s American office who is their common object of desire. According to the rules of this ‘race’, they have to sleep with five other unsuspecting women before the winner can ask Clare out.

The story unfolds through the eyes of 28-year old Rob. It is interesting to note that both men are a stark contrast to each other. While Tim is a heartless smooth talker who scores with women as easily as he forgets them, Rob is an emotional, levelheaded bloke with a sense of morality - not a strong one, but its there. 

He becomes the mouthpiece of Mason, who spends the first half of the novel telling us how shallow the darker sex really is. But he simultaneously comes to their rescue and defends their case by blaming their obsession with sex on their genetic and psychological make-up. Mason seems to have either misinterpreted Germaine Greere or has tried to boldly express his disapproval of feminism.

Mark Mason

Despite the fact that this topic has been written about and discussed time and again, Mason expands it further to include intricacies of the masculine brain and the things that appeal to such a temperament. For instance, he explains why paying for sex isn't such a turn-on and that sleeping with an ex isn't really a big deal for men. Of course, this calls for a lot of generalisations on Mason’s part, which he clearly states at the outset. Certainly, such liberties are excusable only if it is undertaken by a member of the same sex.

Like most first novels, this too has a tinge of autobiography. Mason tells us (through Rob, of course) that the entries that make up this 21st century pulp fiction novel are “scribblings”. And he’s right. At times, his writing does come across as amateurish and frivolous with some amount of repetition. But it also has spurts of humour interspersed with glimpses of profound reasoning as to why men behave the way they do. 

But the peg of the story - the Clare Jordon Five and Three-Quarter Feet Handicap Stakes race - is too far-fetched. And if men are really capable of devising such a contest then its better that it remain between the covers of personal diaries.

Although this novel’s perceived intention was to delve deeper into the male psyche of how men perceive sex and - in the process - how they perceive women, the end product might come across as a disappointment to its female readers. For one, in the process of explaining how men really think, Mason has objectified women as someone with whom men can only go to bed. And despite the fact that the book’s title forces Mason to stick to its main topic, which is obviously sex, he tends to overdo it in more than a few places. At every step, the reader is party to how Tim and Rob desperately attempt to bed women. This makes the entire act appear mechanical. In fact, their promiscuity eventually becomes so emphatic that love seems like an outdated idea. Thankfully, Mason spares his readers of the details of acts that follow on various occasions and allows their imagination to take over. 

Perhaps, what Tolstoy said about a woman’s beauty is true even for sex: its best description is by understatement.

Although Rob’s participation in this race pricks his conscience now and then, he gives it up only towards the end of the story when he stumbles upon the truth - what he is really seeking is a soul mate, which he finds in his ex-girlfriend, Hannah. Therefore, Mason does veer towards sentimentality and love eventually, proving that the old-fashioned and under-rated emotion isn't a completely extinct concept. In the end Rob says, “As I sat there, listening to my recorded voice and Hannah’s, ‘Purple Rain’ soaking everything we said in the perfection of a thousand memories and a million hopes, life told me that Hannah was the one.”

‘What Men…’ obviously isn't a manual on man-woman relationships. But it is fairly successful in raising and answering many of the questions that plague the minds of most women who have tried to understand the male psyche. In that sense, the book can prove to be informative and fun with its easy language and style. British humour never fails to produce the laughs, even when it comes with a title as crude as this. 

Book review: ‘Into Thin Air’ by Jon Krakauer

As a novice in the exciting world of mountaineering, I had overheard plenty of passionate conversations about a tragic Everest ascent and a few legendary mountaineers that the world lost that day. I was instantly intrigued.
And then one cold day while browsing through some books in a quaint little bookstore in Darjeeling that looked like it had been around since the Britishers had taken up residence there, i stumbled upon 'Into Thin Air'.

Now, there are books that you don't give a second thought to, some that make you think days, even months, after you've read them. And then there are some that you never forget your whole life. 'Into Thin Air' falls in the last category.     

Jon Krakauer

Written in 1997, it is a first person account of the 10 May, 1996 Mount Everest ascent that took the lives of eight skilled climbers – the worst tragedy Everest has ever seen. Krakauer, a journalist and a mountaineer, wrote this book as an act of catharsis and his raw and honest description of the event is difficult to read without a lump in one's throat. It is, after all, heart-wrenching to be party to the death of so many great climbers especially after being a part of their lives, even if it is just on paper.

Krakauer’s record becomes even more moving because he was not only a part of the guided expedition but he also witnessed the death of some of his companions and even his team leader and mountaineering guide - the gregarious Rob Hall. Despite the fact that Krakauer’s memory of the final ascent was distorted by exhaustion and shock, he has tried to write as accurate a summary as possible by giving a day-to-day and even a minute-by-minute account of their treacherous climb on the unforgiving terrain of the snow-covered Himalayas at 29,028 feet. At that altitude though, time slows down dramatically!

This book easily slips into the slot of must-read books - for everyone. But for mountaineers it holds special reverence. It not only speaks their language but also uncovers the harsh realities of life - and death - in the isolation of 26,000 feet often referred to as ‘The Death Zone’. This account also mentions mountaineering greats like George Mallory, Andrew Irvine, Sir Edmund Hillary, and Tenzing Norgay.
 
To compress an exhilarating, life-altering experience of arriving at the apex of the planet into a few hundred pages is a daunting task. But Krakauer attempts to do that. And succeeds. He also raises important issues that need to be tackled: commercialization and competition in climbing where safety is indispensable. An apt read on the 60th anniversary of summiting the world's highest mountain. A must read at any time for adventurists.     

Indi-Chini, bhai bhai

India and China have so often been mentioned in the same breath – whether the conversation is about economy growth, GDP or our collective contribution to world population.

Despite having so many differences though, the Indians and the Chinese share so many similarities. Nehru was right after all.     

Take for instance, the way we are travelling. Both, the wealthy Indians and the rich Chinese are an emerging breed of globetrotters who seem to have recently discovered the joys of travelling.

But with this bullishness has also come a bit of obnoxiousness – something which we Indians have perfected over the years. Take for instance, the recent hubbub that occurred when a discerning Ding Jinhao scrawled his name followed by ‘was here’ in Chinese letters on a 3,500 year old temple wall in Luxor, Egypt.

Now we all know that making graffiti on World Heritage Sites is our forte. Hell, we invented it! The only difference is that when we were on the upward curve as China is right now, there wouldn't have been such uproar on any social media platform. That is possibly because social media hadn't taken off in India at that time. But that is beside the point.

There are certain etiquettes that we as travelers need to learn. Some years ago, I was browsing through some perfumes in the duty-free section of Frankfurt Airport. I couldn't find testers for the one I wanted so I asked the woman at the counter for it. She politely asked me to wait till she got one, throwing in “some Indians helped themselves to them before the last flight” for good measure.

Just like Shen, the embarrassed Chinese tourist who photographed the Luxor graffiti and posted it in on a microblogging site, I didn't know where to look or what to say. Hoping that a purchase would serve as an apology, I shelled out 80 euros and bought the perfume.   

The truth is – the attitude of the wealthy Chinese matches that of the wealthy Indian. Both think that money gives them a right to expect anything they want. The recent Gupta wedding scandal is a good case in point.

Often referred to as “the next China,” India in this particular instance has managed to precede its Chini bhai. 

Hurun Research Institute recently published a report that reveals details of the travel habits of the Chinese luxury traveller and makes for interesting reading.