‘I (might not) do’

A funny thing about being married – stay that way long enough and more often than not, you’de end up wishing you were single again.

This is borrowed wisdom, of course. I’ve spoken to so many married couples – some childhood sweethearts even – and sooner or later they always ‘fess up (almost never in front of their spouse though) that if they could turn back time, “and I love my kids very, very much,” they would never have gotten married.

Well, that’s mighty convenient. But the question I’m trying to raise here is: how wise a decision is it to get married in these times?

There cannot be one right answer to this. Because, let’s face it, singles have way more sex while married couples get to share the wealth with the added bonus of finding this one person whom they can annoy till the end of time.

And imagine the level of commitment you require to get married. Husbands have to relinquish their right to say ‘no’ when their wives ask for the car keys. And wives, well, they must cook!

One argument I’ve always heard for being hitched is that you earn the respect of the rest of your family. Plus, you get sex on-demand. But like someone said many years ago, is it wise to buy the entire aircraft for the free peanuts?

In the end, the debit side balances out the credit side. Still, there's got to be an element of truth in all those marriage jokes floating around in cyberspace. My favourite one is: You know what I did before I got married? Anything I wanted to! That’s what I’m talking about…

Are you a sellout yet?

I feel hugely honoured at having residence in the same lane (actually just two buildings away) that Gandhiji chose to live for almost 17 years of his life. His bungalow is now converted into a museum called Mani Bhavan, which is a big tourist attraction.

So you’de think that giving directions to my house would be easy, right? Wrong. The give and take usually goes something like this:

Person: So, where do you stay?

Me: In Gamdevi, very close to Mani Bhavan.

Person: Money-what?

Me: The Gandhi museum?

Person: Ummm…

Me: You know the West Side on Hughes Road?

Person: Ah! Say that way na…

See what I mean? Our landmarks have changed, our reference points have taken a tumble. And it makes me wonder whether we’re giving more importance to something that’s more or less irrelevant. These days, we give directions via malls, shops and restaurants.

And if someone hasn’t noticed it yet, we’re also getting increasingly afflicted by this infectious disease called mall madness. Yep, India’s economy is booming. And this same mall madness is partly responsible. But im not sure if its worth it anymore.

Oh, and another thing. What’s synonymous with Mumbai monsoons? Apart from potholes and floods, that is. Yep – SALE! It has the power to alleviate our spirits and excite us. It’s now a conversation-starter; to hell with the weather.

Not the one to stay behind, I outdid myself this season by spending as much money on indulgences as I normally do in 6 months! And I’m completely disgusted with myself. Whatever happened to ‘less is more’? And im not talking about the pink halter top I just bought.

My new motto in life: buy only when there’s a sale. Every time.