The day I lost my wisdom

Having to go to a dentist is like one of those things you think happens only to other people. So when the time came for me to make that visit, I couldn’t believe it was happening to me.

My third molar, and the only one that had managed to ‘erupt’, was developing a cavity by virtue of it being in the far left corner of my mouth. When the doctor’s assistant checked it, she declared, “You have a silver filling.” 

“But I’ve never been to a dentist before,” I said, immediately doubting myself. “Or have I?”

Just as I was hoping that it was a silver filling after all, a little prodding and better lighting revealed that it was indeed a huge cavity. “You’ll have to get it extracted,” was the verdict.

So I braced myself and made my way to the dentist some 2 weeks later. An hour and 2.5 (instead of just one) jaw-numbing injections later, I was minus 4K and a wisdom tooth. The strong little fellow was sitting bleeding in a glass bowl on the doctor’s table, and as far as wisdom teeth go, he was big and “bulbous.”

And if I wasn’t the one reclining on the dentist’s chair, I would have sniggered at the regular, “Open your mouth. Wider. WIDER!” And not to forget, “Try not to swallow.”

Hey… don’t blame me for cracking up at this. I just got my wisdom tooth removed.

Californication is red hot with chilli and pepper!

It is. Having watched more than a few episodes of the show's first season (courtesy a friend), I can safely say that airing Californication in India would suck the life and soul out of it. The entire foundation on which its storyline stands is sex (duh!). The lead actor (played by David Duchovny) is a troubled writer grappling with writer's block, and sex and alcohol addictions. Of course, he seems to be enjoying every second of it.

Duchovny's own personal problems, that co-incidentally started with this show, mirror that of the character's - his entering rehab for sex addiction, his estrangement with wife Tea Leoni. And this is probably what made the show so (in)famous. Interestingly, Duchovny had appeared in a sex-crime-thriller movie by a similar-sounding name - Kalifornia - in 1993 that had Brad Pitt, who was then an upcoming star!        

Now in its fourth season in the US, Californication has the works: foul language, semi-frontal and back nudity, explicit references to acts of sex, and 'erring' secretaries. So what do you think will happen when Zee Cafe airs it in India? Even though its showing at 11pm, be ready to hear a lot of bleeps and experience plenty of scene jumps. Hell, even the trailer is full of blinking bleeps!

The acting itself is mediocre - his on-screen (estranged) wife played by Natascha McElhone looks as if she's perennially amused by his antics even when we expect her to be completely intolerant to them. His adolescent daughter looks like she's on her way to becoming a Goth with bad acting skills. And Duchovny himself looks least interested - except in the scenes when he gets to have sex with beautiful women!

So it's difficult to say how the show will stand on its own without the best parts. Well, we'll just have to wait till July 25 to see what happens. It's a good thing Indians have a good imagination.

Do you have a humerus?

Are you a bag of funny bones?  Do you enjoy the frequent bon mot and are ever ready to share a moment of mirth with fellow human beings? Good. Then you have the capacity to fight any problem. For humour, as they have said, is our defense against the universe.  

Whether it is slapstick or quick wit, a repartee or irony, humour has forever found a special place in the history of mankind. It can connect two people, like it connects two drinkers. It can improve your mood and definitely your face.     

Humour can be your savior, your strength, your edge, your style. God knows how Mumbaikars need it simply to survive in the city. I met up with a really close friend after almost five years the other day. He was in transit – in Mumbai for two days – on his way to London. Into our second mug of beer, he remarked that I still hadn’t lost my sense of humour, even after all those years. And I realised that I couldn’t afford to, at least not while I was still living in this city.

Unfortunately, London’s frigid weather had not done him any good.